Cookie's World

His Idea Of Love

2011-08-16T16:02:00.000-07:00

I have been working on some projects with makeup called "His Idea Of Love" and I have found someone who is willing to put up with my blobs of inspiration. Does that sound strange? Indeed it does. Enjoy.

Farewell.

Flies

2011-05-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

Flies in my garage: horrible, horrible flies. The trash is out, there is no food anywhere, and yet these bastards still decide to take over. I have been scratching my brain, thinking of ideas of how to get rid of them, and yet I come up with nothing.
While waiting for my niece and nephew to come home from school, I decide to accept these flies in my garage and have taken a photograph as proof that: I still want them dead, but I will settle for their presence right now.

]

Farewell.

Long time no post...

2011-05-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers,

This blog of mine has been on the back-burner for quite some time now and I plan to revive it. Thank you all for still being my friends on here, I would have quit on myself a LONG TIME AGO!

Well, I have moved to Texas and live with my sister and husband. It's stable enough and has some good and bad. I am managing somehow, and finding the small bits of happiness that get lost in the air sometimes.

I feel quite crazy for not writing sooner, but for the past 2 years, my mind has been in 10000 different places so I didn't think anyone would want to read my gibberish.
This is the first of many new posts on here.

Shari

What Are We Afraif Of?

2009-11-23T11:06:00.001-08:00

(This was written by my sister Karen about being raised in the "Children Of God" and I thought it was amazing)

I was talking to my beautiful, intelligent sister this evening and discussing a recent post made by my brother-in-law, Chris. We discussed how true his post was and how it is that we, as former members and children of members of the Family International, are typically scared or afraid of posting thoughts such as these or possibly even voicing them. We, together, came to with the conclusion that the abuse suffered by each and every child (generally, at least), is still in bondage to some degree by the abuse we suffered during our upbringing. I use the term we, but really, I am speaking for myself.

Needless to say, it begs the question, what are we afraid of? Are we afraid of 50-something-year-old women and men who, without an education, lived their lives in by a standard that was called living by faith, or otherwise known as living on the backs of others? Are we afraid of rocking the boat, so as to say, we want to maintain the pittance of a relationship we have established with our parents and family members that remain in this organization? Are we afraid we would be viewed as whiny or bitter by not progressing in a manner sufficient to those that disbelieve our stories, or those that simply don’t care?

I am a product of a group of individuals who cared nothing for religion, nothing for god, and least of all, nothing for their children. A group of individuals who not only allowed, but condoned, some of the most obscene abuse of young children; sexually, physically and mentally. I am a product of individuals who wanted nothing more in life than to belong to a family; a spin off of some form of the hippie lifestyle, where there was no responsibility other than to preach the world of their god.

What do I mean specifically, you ask? Well, keep in mind there is only so much I can write in the little space provided to me by Facebook. However, we were raised to believe the world owed those of us who gave all and “forsook all” for the purpose of preaching the gospel. I can’t exactly tell you what gospel, only that it made sense to the individuals preaching it at the time.

The things were given up for the “higher calling” in life usually consisted of clothes, shoes, food, safety and simple necessities; only to have others provide it to us out of the goodness of their hearts. In addition, we gave up our childhood to provide for our parents and other random adults. If that still was not enough, we gave up our sexuality. Children were used as sex toys for the perverse. Children were used as money-making machines. Children were used as sympathy tools to enable adults comforts in life. In short, children were abused to an extent so unbelievable, that I have dedicated my life to prosecuting such offenses.

Some may argue with me, but only those who categorically deny any wrong-doing on the part of the Family International; others are entirely too weak to face these atrocities head on and do something to change it. Others may feel it is simply not worth the risk. Whatever the excuse may be, one has to question, what exactly are we afraid of? The only response given by members who are active in this group are: “Get over yourself,” and, “You’re just bitter,” or, “We have always loved you, why don’t you accept our love?” These responses, of course, are insufficient when facing a reality that will follow me for the rest of my life. I will never trust men the way that others do; I will never trust people who engross themselves in religion; I will simply never justify any actions of my parents, their colleagues, and any other person who backs the same lifestyle; nor will I trust any religion, period. They should be tried by a jury of their peers, and convicted of the atrocious crimes they have committed, then sentenced to the maximum extent of the law.

By Karen Summers.

Ugh, That feeling

2009-11-15T11:48:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have a sick feeling in your stomach? And I don't mean from alcohol, drugs or bad sex. The feeling of being fascinated with a total liar.

Recently, my heart skipped a beat with him, my eyes were brighter and everything was happy and exciting. How fascinating was he. But, whenever I asked him if he wanted to go out, then he rejected the idea altogether. Last night, he said yes to going out. So, I as stupid as ever, decided to put make up on, dress up nice and wish for a good night. But, it did not come, now did it? He calls to tell me that he isn't showing up and that he is "so confused" about some situation in which I have no idea.

I sit on my chair for awhile, thinking to myself 'why lead me on, if you never wish to see me?' Yet, how can he help it? He's just a douche bag.

Farewell.

Louisiana The Whore

2009-10-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

The sights and smells are the same as before. I am feeling toasty with my snugly toes and happy drinks. I have been doing a lot of GED these days, because I plan on going to LSUS (a University close by).

But, right now I am concentrating on this television show and the taste of cigars just sitting in my mouth. I was trying to be brave, trying to be manly and smoke a cigar, but it was disgusting and strong and pasty. I want to murder this taste in my mouth before it's too late.

I recently volunteered at the local "Humane Society" for every Monday and Friday. It is very sad because I want to adopt all the animals, but I can't. So, I will give the animals the best life they can while I volunteer.

auf Wiedersehen.

Botanical Gardens

2009-09-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hans Von Strudel

2009-08-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

All I know is that I love my car. He is beautiful and green and pooped on from birds at this moment. But you know what? I don't even care! All I know is that he is mine and we have been driving together as lovers..

Check him out, but not too much because he's shy.

Aha! You found me

2009-07-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much drunk night with family.

Thank you so much old arguments that turn into laughter in the end.

We have officially decided to move to Alabama,(the land of the creepy people).
But, before we could enjoy the tenderness of pedophiles and sex offenders, we had to make a little stop in Shreveport, Louisiana. The other land of pedophiles and sex offenders. We arrived here around 8'clock on Wednesday evening with smiles, empty stomachs, and thirsty throats.

We needed alcohol and QUICK! Before all the hugs and love of Jesus, we had to get our "drink on". It was something that could not be helped. Something that was so sneaky and delicious that my throat would tickle with JOY!
In the end, the only sentence that people were admitting was "I'm not drunk, I am just over served".

I honestly do not know how we do every time we visit here, but somehow we are always willing to become so painfully "over served" that drunk is a lite word.

But, one question though. Why is it that each morning, after a good night of drinking, do my hands smell like corn-dogs?

Liamas with Hats

2009-07-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

When I first saw this clip, my first reaction was that it sounded just like a conversation between my brother and I....

"I was hungry for hands, give me a break..."

The Home Of Wonders

2009-07-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

In my small but bitter life, I have experienced many things. Sometimes I sit on my bed and wonder, “how did this happen?” Then I smile knowing that it was their fault. In case you have not already noticed, this generation has a little problem. No, I take it back. The problem is colossal. I have been to many places in my life, but not quite like this one. The second you walk on to the property, you cannot help but take a whiff of air and what do you smell? Yes, I smell it too. It reeks of sex, pregnant woman, and garbage. Although that stuff smells the same, I wanted to make them feel special by saying it did not. However, in my heart I felt differently AND that my friends, is the point of this. The fact I am about to lay on your chest. So, believe it and receive it.

Well, this all started in my early Teen years. I was indeed a chunky little number and had my share of rejection. Nevertheless, I lived to tell the tale. I lived in a big home when I was 12. And in that home, I had to replace the sweet smell of roses with rotting eggs and pregnant women. However, most people would find that very wonderful. I indeed did not, because in that “wonderful place” I was qualified in valuable lessons. Such as: How not to be caught by your shepherds, try not to be hit on by 30 year old men, smile big and pretend to love everyone. Oh, those were the days, my friends. Those were the days. In places like that, you must find a crowd, somewhere to be safe.

The whores were people who made your small life much worse. Not just by taking all the decent men, no not even. However, by making the whole home smell like their rotten vagina's. (Note: I am not personally referring to anyone in this, but if you think I am referring to you, then I probably am).

The idiots were people who truly believed they were smart. They would walk around the house, and talk to people about computers, (considering only the “smart” people knew about computers). I think they tried talking in Japanese once. That brought some laughter back into my humble life. Poor, ignorant men, they will never understand anything.

The bitter were good people. I appreciated them the most. At least they did not whore around making the home smell like fish, considering we had other people to do that for us. The bitter people were the smartest. They would make jokes that were not very funny then, but are very clever now. They should have run the home, I am sure it would have turned out better that way.

The stressed were maniacs. You would always look behind you to see if they were coming with a knife to kill you. You would toss in your bed at night hoping you would live to see tomorrow.
This did not always happen. Poor people, they never saw it coming. The crazy thing about the stressed is that you believe in the beginning that they are almost sweet. Therefore, you get all excited & your panties got in a twist, because you actually believe you will survive the dark ways of the stressed. No my friends, beware of them! They are your enemies and the stressed were my shepherds and I of course hid from them. I was not going to be another casualty. Right when you thought, you were safe. BANG! You are DEAD! He lurks behind your door and kills you instantly. It was merely impossible to have devotions with stressed people. You thought that any second they would have a heart attack. On the other hand, maybe they were a little to into word time. Who really knows the truth? I did not intend to find out.

Even after years of living silently in my room, I had the courage to look for that place.
Hell’s bells I called it. I assured myself it was a good name. However, the moment someone shoved me out of the car on to that property, I knew something was not right. I ducked down on the floor, wishing that someone would hear my desperate cries for help. However, then something struck me. Something very wrong and painful was coming my way. Someone was walking towards me. I turned in fear and started running the opposite direction, but it was too late, someone saw me. As this creature headed closer to me, a tear rolled down my cheek. I did not want to die this way. The creature grabbed a tight hold on me and smiled with its leprosy face and monstrous teeth. After a moment of strong tight hugging, the monster spoke. “I bet you missed Kira huh”. Then an even bigger smile, thrown my way, as the tightening of its grasp loosened. I signed with great peace in my heart. I am alive! I walked quickly through the property, and then I smelt something rather familiar. That same rotten vagina/pregnant women smell was here. I was back to my Teen years again. My full entire life flashed before my eyes in 5.2 seconds. My heart was racing faster and faster, until I fell to the floor in horror. A drop of sweat rolled down my face. Then my eyes had opened and I was still in this nightmare. This place I called my home for many years. This wasteland, I must escape somehow. But, it was too late. The damage seemed unchangeable. I did not want to become pregnant too. Like these creepy 20 year old's. They just could not keep it in their pants. Yet, I was to be another sacrifice. Nevertheless, I refused to bare their children. Ask one of the Whores to do it instead. I am sure they would not mind.

Then I woke up smiling the next day. Thankfully, it was all a dream. I did not plan instantly coming impregnated by mutants. My life was back to its normal state again.
Then the door suddenly swung open. Moreover, a tall figure appeared before me. "Hey, we’re going to ----- in a couple minutes, so get ready". Nooooooooooo!

The End

This, that, and otherwise.

2009-07-08T22:18:00.000-07:00

My brother in law Christopher has been dying for me to do a cover of this song for months.
Well, let's be fair, he wasn't actually dying, but I'm sure that is the emotion he tried to come across to me.

Anyway, here is "Wild Horses".

Take that, scumbags!

2009-06-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

Basically, I do not like many female singers, I just don't. A lot are trying to pull off a Britney Spears growl, some are more interested in singing through their noses and pretending to sound exactly like Amy Lee. Anyhow, I have the major hots for Mrs. Terra Naomi. Because she's got Vicodin, do you want to come over? I'm tempted to.

This is the HELP MESSAGE!

2009-06-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

I need help in the area of recording songs. I never know what to record (cover-wise).
And I get stuck because I only know the basics, and I am not one awesome guitarist, but now a days, we can basically find chords for anything. Anyway, I just wondered if any of you could just tell me a song you like and I could record it or so.

I just do not like not knowing what to sing. It is getting to me.

Thanks, my little love turtles.

Farewell.

The College Of Truth

2009-06-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Basically, I went into the Lonestar College yesterday and had a whole tour of it.
I met with one of the women in charge, whose name is Sandra Angel. She was such a nice lady, taking the time for me. See, I originally thought that any summer classes I wanted to take would not happen. But, to my greatest surprise, the summer is split into two sections or so. So, I can start school on July 9th if I pass the exam first.

Point of the story is, I will hopefully be going to school a hell of a lot faster than I ever expected. But now, I need a car and a license. This world is so needy. It always needs us to do so much for it. I am really happy though. Happiest in the world for this chance at school!

Farewell.

The lastest song

2009-06-05T15:45:00.001-07:00

This is my new song, and yes, it is pretty damn orgasmic.

Bah Humbug!

2009-05-20T15:55:00.001-07:00

Just some of my photographs.

Compilation.

2009-05-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Here is a compilation of some writings I just wrote in the car on my way to Shreveport, Louisiana on a visit.

I’m thirsty for your lips, your interpretations. This time of falling down so quickly is not one of my favorite weakness’. Time is shortening. Life is belonging. It seems to be the last of the first round. My beauty. My own sickness. You cause the world to crumble at your feet, but I will not. I will fail to give you refuge. I will cause harm to your meaningful conversations. And even though you thought to know me so well, you do not. You see my image, you my sweet, my shadow. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Whenever I reach for you, your hands quickly move away. Your space is my only alibi. Eyes, your own.
They drive my fantasies wild, and never decease. Ringing in my ears, caught in a motion I cannot even control. Rid me, disease. Leave me to my own destruction. The faster you go, the more I want. The harder you get, the more I want. Speak now or forever hold your fucking peace.

My valley, chased by shadows and ripping my core from inside me. Spirit, spirit on the wall, who knew my willing little frame would become more hollow. Who knew my own captivation would lead to my release?
Sing, sing, sing to me. As I crumble in your dying arms, sing to me. Let me hear the last sentences from your lovely lips. Let me kiss the wounds away, as many as I can. Image, image in my mirror. Fetch me another one, give me another chance to become the opposite of all your dreams.

I have waited hours, centuries, generations just to hear you say your name. And though it is common to my ears, I want to inhale it like my cigarettes. Like my rude words. I want to cut you in tiny pieces so I will have you forever. So you cannot run from my arms ever again. Never fear me, I just want your small pieces.
Never judge me, I just want your bloody tears.
You and your eyes need to find me.

The Vampire Weekend

2009-05-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

This weekend took the wind out of me, and beyond, but I would rather not discuss any nastiness that I am thinking about.

We had 19 people in a 4 bedroom house. Scary first sentence, isn't it? We all gather around, drinking an unknown amount of drinks, snacking on chips and the likes, smoking delicious Djarums Blacks and we wish to ourselves that this weekend was coming back for a quick glance, but we couldn't get our hopes up.

Although my sister does not like to admit it, she has had her 32nd birthday. The theme was vampire. We all sprayed some sort of washout black hair dye, put on beautiful red lipstick, and pasted fake blood on our necks. I put the most because it amused me.
We sang Karaoke, danced a while, took a walk, drove to the closest liquor store.

I do hope it will happen soon enough.

Farewell.

I'm a Vegetarian

2009-04-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

All my life, I have eaten meat, pounds of blubbery flesh, and crisp crunches of bacon.
Although, I have been pro to animal rights for all eternity. Recently, I was researching animal abuse online, and I found this website that physically made me sick. People can eat meat, but never really look into the suffering of the animal.
I, for one thing am not going to tell people what to believe, how to live or eat.
I just know that this is right for me. This is what I want. To not eat animals, to love them. Although that seems corny; corny is good for me.

The website is www.peta.org.

Not for the faint of heart, if you love animals.

Yann Tiersen

2009-04-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

He is a french composer since 1995. He also wrote and composed songs for the french movie 'Amélie', in which I have not seen, but want to equally as bad as I want to hear his amazing and fascinating music.
Yann Tiersen is a sheer inspiration to me. He helps me think, helps me write, and gives me this beautiful melodies that would keep me awake in the morning and leave me in peace at night.

I have heard a lot from him, but this is my personal favorite. A fan of his made this video, and although the song actually has lyrics and goes by the title 'Rue De Cascades', I honestly like it better this way, because it will make you think, dream, live, speak and wonder about his musical inspirations.

The Wedding

2009-04-21T23:18:00.001-07:00

My older sister Laurie plans to get married very soon.
I don't know the exact date just yet, but since I am the Maid of Honor I am entitled to write something about the bride and her to-be husband. But, I do not know what exactly to write yet, but I have some scribble on paper I wrote today.
These are just little notes, and I doubt I will use any of them for the actual wedding, but I just wanted to know what you all think.

#1 Love

Love is dark
Love is uneasy
Not easily forgotten
But easily remembered
Lost love staring bright
But true love is known
When you say I am forever yours.

#2 Words

A thousand small words
Speaking only through your heart
Never forgotten
Nor your love.

#3 Forever

Hello and always
Fates reaching hand
Is keeping so true, so lovely
In the still sand
'I promise to keep close'
I know you will say.

I am not really into so much love poetry, but sometimes it can be pretty.

Farewell.

Hell & Religion

2009-04-21T14:54:00.000-07:00

Satan is a fiery being. He is red and steamy from head to toe, and drinks of your blood.
Well, isn't that what Jesus told us to do?
But, if Satan is all he is cooked up to be, then why didn't I think to date him sooner?

One thing I could never understand is Satanism. I have read so much about it in my search for a better religion if one at all. But, through the great talk of it, the awesome religion is was all cooked up to be, it was nothing other than believing in yourself or becoming your own God. And I, personally do not care to become my own God, so I had to shun the idea altogether.

My Puppies

2009-04-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love animals, end of story. That's how I know I could never marry a person who doesn't like animals, because I would probably love the animals more than the person.

Or not.

Here are some photographs of my puppies, my loves, my little fury wonders:

I hope you like animals, but no pressure.....

*Sensual eyes blinking*

Farewell you ol' humbugs.

LIBRARY

2009-04-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

I really, really, really want to own a giant library in my house.

It is completely unfair how the Beast in "Beauty and the Beast" gave her this forever library.

Maybe I should invest in one.

Maybe I shouldn't be jealous of disney characters.

Farewell.

The School.

2009-04-15T22:23:00.000-07:00

For now, I am helping my sister and her husband out by walking to the school every week and taking my niece, Dylan to her speech class, and I also walk everyday to pick up my nephew Oliver.
Anyway, this is what I observed from the school...

As I walk my niece Dylan to her speech class, the air is crisp and children are nowhere to be seen, but they are heard.
The walk seems long, as she drags her feet. The steps seem to be longer than last time I had this little adventure.
We finally arrive and we sit in uncomfortable chairs that seem to be so cheap that they are not worth sitting in.
I get a backache just thinking about them, actually.
The seats are getting warm as we sit and wait for one of the five teachers to actually pay attention to us and direct us to the right class for Dylan. We continue to wait, as nobody seems to care if we sit there for long periods of time.
I stand up, staring at the closest teacher, who had avoided talking to me to begin with. Great service, right?
The teachers there are overly fluffy, with too much colour on their clothes, and way too much makeup.
As they stare at me sadly, knowing that they might actually have to help me, I begin to wonder why they act this way, then I realize that they are just too fluffy to get up, to lazy to answer questions, and too colorful to be seen by normal people, after all, they might burn someone’s eyeballs right out.

Dylan is finally called away, after the waiting for awhile had worn her into the ground and the flowers she was holding have died. She quickly runs to her teacher, who seemed pleasant, with a big smile and an underpaid job.
I hold my book neatly in my hands, trying to avoid any conversations the teachers might like to start with me, being the “bad influence” that I am. The book is somewhat interesting, but the background talking is what is really getting to me. They pass around stale jokes about how they love the cheap Easter candy and how bad some children behave.
A woman, who could not have been more than twenty-five, her expression is upset as she walks directly to the main fluffy teacher on the computer, whose beads were unbelievably cheap and gaudy. The woman begins to explain how she needs the email address of a certain child’s parents, because that child had committed a crime by saying something nasty to her own child. ‘Should I tell them directly, what the child has said’, she asked the crusty old bag for a teacher. ‘Well, you are the parent, it’s up to you, but if I were in your shoes, I would keep it quiet’, the crusty teacher replies.

I sit there in total silence, and laugh at the stupidity of the teacher and her crusty, fluffy ways. I mean, what is the point of giving someone advice, if you aren’t actually giving good advice. She must have never learned that part of life. As the concerned mother leaves, the teachers make nasty comments about her behind her back. ‘ I would have just been quiet about the whole thing, but it’s up to that woman’. It seems like such a nice place to let your children be raised, huh? Exactly my point. As soon as Dylan was free from her Kindergarten class we walked directly out of building without giving any smiles to the fluffy teachers with undercooked potato attitudes.

I know, next week I will return to that place, but by then I think I will realize how to tune them out completely.

Farewell fuzzy biscuits.

Sickness Rising

2009-04-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

Houston, at this point has been nothing more than a pool of sickness and infections.

I don't know why so many people live here when it is so full of disease.

This place has been my home for two months, and in those two months I have found myself sick 4 times.

Pretty excited, huh?

Kinda makes you want to move to houston, now doesnt it?

All I can do at this point is name the good and bad of being sick.

1. You have an excuse for a day or two to be completely lazy. (Good)

2. Every food you eat, every beer you drink tastes like meat. (Bad)

3. People pay extra uneeded attention to you. (Good)

4. People pay WAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO YOU! (Bad)

The point is, being sick has it's ups and downs, but sometimes, either ones can be a real pain.

I don't like sickness. It takes away from any fun I could possibly have.

Damn you sickness!!

Farewell.

Key 80's songs

2009-04-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

I wanted to buck the norm and show my sweet followers some of the great 80's songs I have found myself completely amused and fascinated by.

1. She Blinded Me With Science

2. Bohemian Rhapsody.

3. Don't You Want Me Baby

4. Oh Sherry (or in my mind "oh shari").

5. Hold Me Now

Take Me On

Yes, and although these videos are both scary and confusing, I'm sure somewhere in your heart you will secretly love them too.

Farewell.

My sisters and I

2009-04-02T14:17:00.000-07:00

I have a very big family, I am the youngest of eight siblings (we have ten including my parents).

So, I have decided to put a very orgasmic and sweet little post in honor of my sisters, no matter how cruel and dumb they sometimes can be.

Karen is the oldest of the four girls, she will be celebrating her 32nd birthday in May.

Christina had just celebrated her 29th birthday, and she is feel pretty old right about now, and wondering if she should continue to lie about her age.

Laurie (my star) is going to celebrate her 21st birthday in august.
Finally, she'll be able to legally drink, hooray!

Shari (in other words, me) I am going to be celebrating my 18th birthday in December.
And also, I'm strange.

Laurie:

Tina:

Karen:

And some other random photos of my sisters and I

Farewell, my das Schinkenbrots

April Fools Day

2009-04-01T18:03:00.000-07:00

So basically, though I had absolutely no money to my name, no way of transpertation, I decided to take April Fool's day into my own hands.

And although I couldn't physically play a wicked little game on someone, I just the best thing I could: the internet.

I told several of my close friends and company that I have fallen ill and had gone to the doctor, and the doctor gave me some distressing news, that #1 I was pregnant.

My friends were enraged, sad, confused, and yet had little to no words to actually speak.

But always, after another great april fools, I decided to tell them #1 that I, Shari Noelle Osborn, age 17, favorite colour black (though it's actually a shade), would without anything else added in my wicked game, tell them I was lying.

What a wonderfully twisted world we live in, eh?

Distored Time With You

2009-03-25T23:28:00.000-07:00

I am clearly in a very bizzare and unthinkable mood, so in sheer honor of that I will give you the latest poem I have written.

So humbug to you all.

I fall

You fall

We fall alone

Demented pictures

Distorting our minds

These simple photographs

Wasting all our time

I’m with you

Even for a couple minutes

Just another weak point

Figuring out where I left off

These “so-called” miracles

Have let me regretting

And all these things

That didn’t make sense

Are supposed miracles

They will be good in the end

‘But just not yet’

These words raging in me

Caught in lights

These hysterical realities

Since then

Have found the extra empty space

These blocks

These feelings

Life is serenading

And when it is all over

You won’t remember me

When it’s all over

You won’t even remember my name

Because I complicate you

And leave

That’s my place.

Oh Vitas.

2009-03-25T13:55:00.000-07:00

This man, his voice. It makes me wonder if most WOMEN can sing that high.
But no, I beg to say they don't.
He is one of those special cases.

If this doesn't scare you, no other thing will.

Tool

2009-03-25T13:46:00.000-07:00

I know this song is not at all new, but it is new to me.
I have been listening to Tool for awhile, but never heard this exact song, so BOOM, there is was, staring me in the face.

Jambi By Tool

Here from the king's mountain view
Here from the wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan I do
On treasures and flesh, never few.

But I, I would wish it all away.
If I thought I'd Lose you just one day.

The devil and his had me down,
in love with the dark side I'd found.
Dabble in all the way down
up to my neck soon to drown.

But you changed that all for me.
Lifted me up, turned me round.
So I...
I...
I...
I...
I would
I would
I would
Wish this all away

Prayed like a father dusk to dawn.
Beg like a hooker all night long.
Tempted the devil with my song.
And got what I wanted all along.

But I,
And I would,
If I could,
And I would,
Wish it away,
Wish it away,
Wish it all away,
Wanna wish it all away,
No prize that could hold sway,
Or justify my giving away,
my center.

So if I could I'd wish it all away.
If I thought tomorrow would take you away.
You're my peace of mind, my home, my center.
I'm just trying to hold on,
One more day.

Dim my eyes...
Dim my eyes...

Dim my eyes if they should compromise
our fulcrum what you need divides me then
I might as well be gone.

Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent son.

Shine down upon the broken.
Shine until the two become one.

Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent son.

Shine on upon the severed.
Shine until the two become one.

Divided I'm withering away.

Divide and I'm withering away.

Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent son.

Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
So as one survive.
Another day and season.

Silence leech, and save your poison.
Silence leech, and stay out of my way.

The Weekend

2009-03-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

I had a lot of fun this weekend, friends usually are.
But one thing I can't help but hate is all these blisters on my feet and bruises on my body.
I almost feel like Jesus.

But thanks to the Corey Taylor & Apocalyptica song, I guess we all learnt that Jesus wasn't there.

Although I haven't been posting too painfully much on this blog, I think I will start.
I suppose we all get distracted and forget to post, but that's just a part of life.

Farewell.

Beautiful and interesting quotes and poems

2009-03-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

These are some of the authors I really appreciate and love to read.

Interior Portrait.

You don't survive in me
Because of memories;
nor are you mine because
of a lovely longing's strength.

What does make you present
is the ardent detour
that a slow tenderness
traces in my blood

I do not need
to see you appear
being born sufficed for me
to lose you a little less.

Put Out My Eyes

Put out my eyes, and I can see you still,
Slam my ears to, and I can hear you yet;
And without any feet can I go to you;
And tongue-less, I can conjure you at will
Break off my arms, I shall take hold of you
And grasp you with my heart as with a hand;
Arrest my heart, my brain will beat as true;
And if you set this brain of mine afire,
Then on my blood-stream I yet will carry you.

The Lovers

See how in their veins all becomes spirit:
into each other they mature and grow.
Like axles, their forms tremblingly orbit,
round which it whirls, bewitching and aglow.
Thirsters, and they receive drink,
watchers, and see: they receive sight.
Let them into one another sink
so as to endure each other outright.

Water Lily

My whole life is mine, but whoever says so
will deprive me, for it is infinite.
The ripple of water, the shades of the sky
are mind; it is still the same, my life.

No desire opens me: I am full,
I never close myself with refusal-
in the rhythm of my daily soul
I do not desire- I am moved;

By being moved I exert my empire,
making the dreams of night real:
into my body at the bottom of the water
I attract the beyonds of mirrors.

You Who Never Arrived

You who never arrived
in my arms, Beloved, who were lost
from the start,
I don't even know what songs
would please you. I have given up trying
to recognize you in the surging wave of the next moment.
All the immense images in me - the far-off, deeply-felt landscape,
cities, towers, and bridges, and unsuspected turns in the path,
and those powerful lands that were once
pulsing with the life of the gods-
all rise within me to mean
you, who forever elude me.

You, Beloved, who are all
the gardens I have ever gazed at,
longing. An open window in a country house-, and you almost stepped out, pensive, to meet me.
Streets that I chanced upon,-- you had just walked down them and vanished.
And sometimes, in a shop, the mirrors were still dizzy with your presence and, startled, gave back to my too-sudden image.
Who knows? Perhaps the same bird echoed through both of us yesterday, seperate, in the evening.

~Rainer Maria Rilke~

How glorious is it - and also how painful - to be an exception.

~Alfred de Musset~

August Night

O Muse! What does it matter, life or death?
I love, and want pallor, I love and want the pain;
I love, my genius for a kiss I won't disdain;
I love, and want to feel on my cheek wan
That stream from endless spring forever drawn.
I love, and want to sing of joy and laziness
Of my crazed life and cares of just one day.
I want to tell and say forever and ceaseless
That once vowing to live without mistress,
Only of love I vow to live and die.
Renounce to all your pride that's killing you
The bitter-filled heart that you thought was closed.
Love, and revive; to blossom be a flower.
Having suffered, even more you must suffer,
And keep loving, after having so loved.

Kiss Me More

Kiss me, kiss me more and still more,
Give me that scrumptious kiss of yours,
Give me that kiss that's tenderest,
I'll give you four that are hottest.

Sigh! You gripe? Let me soothe your pain
With ten kisses that are sweetest.
To mix with ours in bliss greatest.
Enjoy each other's over again
Though we each have our private life.
To live and let the other do likewise,
Let me insane for our love's sake.
In discreet life I'd suffer pain
If I could not give myself fain
To you madly for you to take.

Sonnet VIII

I live, I die: I burn, I drown,
Amidst the cold, heat strikes me down
Too soft and too hard my life is to me
My great sorrows are mixed with glee.

All at once I laugh and I cry
And I endure great torment in pleasure.
My happiness flees, but lasts forever.
All at once I wilt and I thrive.
Thus inconstant love torments me.
Just as I think my pain has worsened
Without thinking so I am trouble-free
Then when I believe my joy is certain
With happiness I so craved it fills me,
And sets me back to my first misfortune.

The Walk

Of the blue summer eyes, I'll walk along the paths
Slashed by the wheat blades, trampling upon fine grass,
Dreaming, I will smell the freshness at my feet
And I will let the wind bathe my uncovered head.
I'll say nothing at all, nor will I think at all,

Yet this infinite love will rise to fill my soul
Then I'll go so far away, like a bohemian.
Amidst nature, happy as if with a woman.

~Alfred de Musset~

On Time

Fly, envious Time, till thou run out thy race;
Call on the lazy leaden-stepping hours,
Whose speed is but the heavy plummet's pace;
And glut thyself with what thy womb devours
Which is no more then what is false and vain,
And merely moral dross,
So little is our loss,
So little is thy gain.
For when, as each thing bad thou has entomb'd
And last of all thy greedy self consumed,
Then long eternity shall greet our bliss,
With an individual kiss;
And joy shall overtake us, as a flood,
When every thing that is sincerely good,
And perfectly divine,
With truth, and peace, and love, shall ever shine,
About the supreme throne
Of him, to whose happy-making sight, alone,
when once our heavenly guided soul shall climb,
Then all this earthly grossness quit,
Attired with stars, we shall forever sit,
Triumphing over Death, and Chance, and thee, O Time!

~John Milton~

If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?
~Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn~

Nothing is more humilating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in.
~Gustave Flaubert~

One never tires of what is well written, style is life! It is the very blood of thought.
~Gustave Flaubert~

She did not know if she regretted having yielded to him, or whether she did not wish, on the contrary, to enjoy him the more.
~Gustave Flaubert~

The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.
~Gustave Flaubert~

What is the beautiful, if not the impossible.
~Gustave Flaubert~

Woman is a vulgar animal from whom man has created an excessively beautiful ideal.
~Gustave Flaubert~

Violence is a calm that disturbs you.
~Jean Genet~

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control on them.
~Jack Kerouac~

The Photographs say it all

2009-03-16T19:23:00.001-07:00

These are the photographs that make me giggle at the end of the day.

Goodbye Louisiana. Hello Houston

2009-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:00

Here are some photographs of the last moments.

I never did think I would move back to Texas, but out of nowhere a fire was lit on my buttocks, and I knew Texas was the place for me.

'Why?' You might ask. And I will tell you just why.

1. Texas has lots of colleges around, many career choices.

2. Loads of possible jobs.

3. The possibility of seeing Cradle of Filth sooner.

4. Cloves.

5. A sister with wide knowledge of the law.

6. 120 miles from Austin where I do hope one day to go to Texas State University.

Farewell.

Christmas and such..

2008-12-27T11:31:00.001-08:00

We are now gathering around, listening to tasty music, and enjoying the company of one another.

Christmas passed quicker than you can say....."I am too old and beyond hope, go and redeem some younger more promising creature and leave me to keep Christmas in my own way".

Maybe a little faster then that. We made this delicious meal of Turkey, Mashed Potatoes, Gravy, Stuffing, Eggnog, and various other treats.

We opened our presents the next morning with smiles, laughter, tears (just kidding) and a warm and steaming pot of Kaffee awaiting us.

Now, in the words of someone who has spoken to my heart quite dearly...

"Well, then, I'll just swallow this and be tortured by a legion of hobgoblins, all of my own creation! It's all HUMBUG, I tell you, HUMBUG!"

Farewell.

Running on air.

2008-12-18T19:06:00.000-08:00

I am running cold
Out on cold air
Using whatever I have left
To stable myself once again
Saying words I cannot hear
Changing your speech to disappear
I am still running
Running on cold air
It seems to be freezing me
I am standing by the fire
No warmth do I feel
It is supposed to caress my skin
But my skin feels alone
I am running so long
On this freezing breeze
If you could change anything
Change the air I breathe.

Ahh, Art.

2008-12-18T14:05:00.000-08:00

Now, without anymore interruptions, I present to you some of my favorite art work.

Enjoy, my little peach tumblets.

Striken ill

2008-12-16T15:12:00.000-08:00

I do not understand why I am always so ill. It seems that whenever I get over a cold, another one is dying to start up again. Oh humbug. I hate sickness, it ruins everything.
The only good thing is the sleep I had. I slept from about four in the afternoon until about four the next morning. Maybe, somehow it is good for me. I just feel like a weak little person. I very much despise that feeling, thank you very much.

"Oh, how I long to be free of sickness, oh how I long to be free"...

No, that is not really a song, but maybe by that little idea for a song it could be turned into a song someday, by some famous person ,who decides one day to search endlessly for my blog, finds it, and turns that little quote into a beautiful song that moves nations.

Maybe I am overthinking a bit.

Farewell.

The Police ---Don't Stand So Close To Me.

2008-12-13T13:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXU8kCrRHJY

Centaur Month!

2008-11-29T21:36:00.000-08:00

Restless, cheerful, and friendly, Sun in Sagittarius people are generally on the go. They have a love of freedom, and a disdain for routine. Generally quite easygoing, Sagittarians make friends with people from all walks of life. They love to laugh and tease, and get along well with both sexes.
Sagittarians have an often blind faith in people, and in the world. Their optimism is infectious, although it can get them into trouble from time to time. These are curious people who love to learn. Their idealistic nature is hard to miss.
Although generally easygoing, Sagittarius is a fire sign. This gives natives a generally quick temper. Fortunately, they're usually as quick to forget what got them angry in the first place.
The need for escape is generally strong, and some Solar Sagittarians come across as a little irresponsible. They're generally easy to forgive, however. After all, their direct, honest approach in life is admirable.

A Sagittarian can never successfully tell a lie. No one believes him for a minute. Deceit is unnatural to the archer, and when he tries to dabble in it, the exposure is usually swift and sure. He's always better off to stick to the truth and let the chips fall where they may. Even his observant, highly aware mind won't rescue him from the results of an excursion into deception, unless he has Scorpio rising. I know a secretive archer who has such a Pluto ascendant, and therefore manages very well to play a good chess game. This kind of a Jupiter person is an exception, but be prepared to meet a few.
To the Sagittarian, life is secretly a circus, and he's the clown, rolling and tumbling through purple hoops in a sky-blue suit. His face is smeared with the bright, gay colors of greasepaint, and his eyes glitter with curiosity and fun. As the music of the calliope gets louder, he stumbles and falls, then executes a perfect somersault on the back of a prancing pony. On his fingers he wears three turquoise rings; on his toes are bells that ring like the chimes in a distant church spire that disappears into the clouds. The archer happily blows a lustrous tin horn, made of the soft, malleable metal that's barely affected by moisture. Whether he's bold or backward, the true nature of this generous idealist is as merry as the Christmas holly berry. Bravely, he pins a large carnation over his big heart, and curves his bow toward the sky. When he aims straight, he shoots higher than man can see-past the stars-to the place where all dreams are really born.

Sagittarius land galore!

This is the tender season for that special someone (Sadges only), where we all gather around glorifying each other.

Happy Birthday Andy (finally 21)

Happy Birthday Jamie Schwartz (Turning 20)

Happy Birthday Micah Tincher (Turning 19)

Happy Birthday Katrina Noell (Turning 17)

Happy Birthday James (Turning 27)

Happy Birthday Chris Yang (Turning 26...I do believe)

Happy Birthday Tim Drummer (Turning 33)

Happy Birthday Joseph (Turning 21)

Happy Birthday Jerry Crawford (Finally 16)

Last but certainly not least.

Happy Birthday Shari.

I know, that seems quite daft of me, but I have to admit the truth.

I am turning 17, and well, though I find it hard to believe, it will be my last actual teen year.

Good rittens to bad rubbish.

Happy Centaur Month!!!

The Thanksgiving involving family..

2008-11-29T21:24:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, cheer on.

Eugene and Nancy came here for Thanksgiving and we all gathered around the already stuffed kitchen and prepaired an overdone (but delicious), crispy and tender meal.

We ate way too much, and yet, it was worth it, at least we would all be too stuffed for the new couple of days and could indulge mass quanities of other things.

It was a festive evening, and well, morning as well. We ate, laughed, (some of us cried), argued, danced, smiled, threw things....but lets keep that story for another day.

Even though it was a blasty blast I do wish that Karen, Robert, Jesse, Oliver, Dylan, Shannon, Marky, Jeremy, and Jude could have been there, because we started running out of subjects, and we were in dire need of fresh arguments.

It was fun though, family time can be sometimes.

And I said sometimes because this was one of those times..

Oh nevermind.

(You lost me at hello)

Farewell.

New Job or Not?....

2008-11-01T11:06:00.001-07:00

Right now I am caught in the common mistake people encounter.
My job, which has been my reason for leaving the house, has gotten me quite low.
Each day I go to my job, I am struck with the exciting idea of quitting. I wonder what other places feel like, as I want to feel them. However, somewhere in the back of my mind, I want to stay, because some days are good and some are bad, you know?

My problem:

The only way that I am able to get to this Job is through my sisters: Laurie and Christina.
I do not drive, I carry no license, and it would be much too far to walk. So, I have to wait on my sisters to drive me to work.
Being a Hostess and all, I should be orgasmically overjoyed to even be there, smiling and bounching directly off the walls whenever I get the opportunity to work. Well, bad news there sparky, I am not.

I am generally unstable (Job-wise), and it is quite difficult for me to stay in one atmosphere for too long, before I go quite mad.
Today is Saturday, and Saturday means lots of unwanted Guests come to "try us out", (The food that is).

They come with their 1,0000 pound bodies barely making it through the door, with rotten smiles and frightening eyes. I take them to their tables, just to hear them complain about the angle, direction, seating, comfort, loudness, and lack of room that I have given them in that particular seat.

I grumble to myself, not letting them actually hear me, because it could cost me my job.
Well, come to think of it, that would be rather good. Maybe that is exactly what I need, to be fired. So, I do not have to be in this terribly, painfully, sickening, fat people atomsphere anymore.

I need a backup plan still....

Farewell

Try me on

2008-09-09T00:50:00.001-07:00

You do a wonderful job of making me feel terrible. That look, those words, I am mesmerized. It is to the point where I have lost it. My control that is, the meaningful thing I loved for so long.
I will watch from my window, to see your moves and carefully place you in a neat enough position where I can come through. I fear the others, the ones who consider everything wrong, see I just want you.
How complicated is want? It is desire, it is moveable, it is free, and common. I have rights and I know when to stop. I see you, someone lonely, careless, free from others, and completely willing to be insane.
Try me on. Try on my skin; tell me what it feels like.

Aha, nice try!

2008-09-06T22:42:00.001-07:00

As the days go by I try to remember the sweet scents and wonderful days I spent in my unselfish nature.Now, I have completely misused the word "unselfish" and have done an opposite job when reality kicks me in the head.

It all happened one day, in the smelliest, horrific, most discouraging place you would call a restaurant.I, in my own magical nature, had not noticed the reason for the remark from my coworker.

'You are selfish', she went on. I tried not looking directly into her eyes because it might cause her to have to loosen her tie, or walk out in rage. See, I am not pro rage it makes me hungry.

Fine, I will look inside my heart and figure out what went wrong. Argh, what a terribly, unnoticeable mistake I made.I think I forgot her birthday.Honestly, selfish fits me. It has a certain ring to it.

What Stone Contains

2008-09-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

In my short years of living, things I have discovered, I have recovered nothing. I am the victim of an unknown crime, and the accused has left me to be mournful. Days seem longer than I had expected, so I continue to mourn the death of myself. Personally, I discovered a missing piece months ago, the solid foundation that kept me sober, for nothing accompanies me, or has kept me stable. My old home, which was darker than here, had stood solid as certain aspects tore me away from its bitter comforting remains.

Eventually I turn to stone, as the final victory comes by passing me aside in the street.
Noticing nothing but the stillness of my being, the very essence that kept a world from falling is gone. Distance has played his role on me, saying things I did not understand and of course, pretending to be so close. I lay destitute on the verge of desertion. Such a crime to humanity that would be bought and paid for, or so it seemed at the time, though I was greeted by the shadows and made to feel guilty.

Time cannot take the place of something so dear, as the world did conquer my spirit devastatingly. Do you know what it is like to resemble a stone, cold and without comfort? Such a delinquent action should hide away, where neither creature nor human could understand its very presence. Past has no place in future, as time grows easily war-torn and helpless to the seeming happiness that is nothing other than discrimination of real freedom.

Glass shatters with time, and will be broken easily without help from reality. Yet, stone has stayed solid through rain and thunder, and the crash of the many tides. Glass shatters so quickly, with a swift movement it is gone. Stone stands strong, though no human could consider themselves as stone, solid and unbreakable, though I was as such, cold and lifeless, gray and unfeeling. That, my own purpose, and is permanent. I do not expand, nor do I mold with my surroundings. The only direction I move is not to move. Without further instruction, placing a rather awkward silence and still hurting from the reality that I am stone, and the world I live in, is nothing but glass.

Dictionary

2008-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

I had an interview today, which I actually, thought was a real interview. But little did my dear sweet heart know, it was a "test interview" and I will be doing the real interview tomorrow. Well, I wish I knew this sooner, because I, with heart pounding, throat swelling, eyes closing, and mouth drying had nothing to do but wait. Wait? What a ridiculous word, or so I thought until I discovered the real meaning of it. It means to wait.

It's so simple, why didn't I notice it before? What a wonderful thing I have found, life is good again.

You know what, waiting can be fun, but only if you know what fun actually means, if not, than it is actually not fun (can find word in dictionary).

So, we begin our journey with the soft winds blowing on our rolly chins, and we begin to understand just why we're so absolutely uncertain of the many different, scary, wonderful, orgasmic (find in dictionary), confident, unsettling, common, ground-breaking, life-risking words we can find in the dictionary.

It's not as complicated as you might think, maybe you are scared, I know I was when I first held the hard covered book in my hands, and felt the soft pages twirl through my fingers, ah what a sensation.

Anyway, I dont really remember what I was originally writing about, so I will just leave you with a crisp smile and an open soul.

Stay dictionary updated Farewell.

The First Day

2008-07-21T22:01:00.001-07:00

(Art by Martin Goode)

This starts the first day of the rest of my life, without regret or compromise, without bitterness or envy about past, because past is past, no possible way to change it, so it remains like a file in a cabinet, to be opened once in a while, but not kept out too long. When you remember too much about your past, it corrupts your future a bit, because you think more and more about past and you forget the now.

I want to start my life new. I don't want to cheat in anyway, I want to live life to the full, because I have things to give, and I want to give them. As I sit upon my very cluttered bed, full of objects I should have put away days ago, I take a minute and remember my past, but only what I want to remember, the good, positive, and happiness I had before.

Life is what we make of it.

So now, I start the new life, in my new coloured room, with new smells and sights, I plan to live life the very best I can. Without eating an overdose of licorice.

Farewell.

Our Prank

2008-07-18T10:38:00.001-07:00

My dear sister Tina and I decided to go to my sister Laurie's apartment, (that she shares with her boyfriend Marty) and bang heavily on the door. Tina banged very loud and we started talking to each other because we believed nobody was home. We were originally there to give dear Laurie $50 because we're super nice. Okay, so we leave, and we go to Hobby Lobby and we get a phone call from Laurie, who is freaked out because someone "tried to break into her house". All we could do was laugh, laugh and laugh because it was obviously us, and poor little Laurie was sitting in the closet with a gun waiting to shoot whoever came in.

She was angry when we told her the truth, that she hid, grabbed the gun, and called her main squeeze for no reason, because we were the "robbers" who knocked on her door. But, though we frightened her, we still had a good laugh.

Farewell.

Plane Trip

2008-07-05T14:19:00.001-07:00

My Plane trip back to the states was interesting. Let me tell you why.

From Timisoara to Budapest, it was short, easy and without much complication.

From Budapest to New York was a different story. I was left in Budapest for 5 hours and 50 minutes just waiting. I did believe I would have the company of a certain gentleman, though it never worked out, because of the security check-in I went through, or because neither of us knew exactly where to find each-other, so we never found each-other. That was a bit of a disappointment, because I had to sit around the whole time, I prevailed still. I went on the plane and met a very nice gentlemen who I shared decent conversation for 9 hours with, and we exchanged emails.

From New York to Dallas the plane was delayed about an hour and a half, instead of leaving at 5:30 we ended up leaving around 7:00. On the trip, there were these two guys behind me, they were very funny, but somewhat crude. They reminded me of a few people I had the "privilege" living with when I was a young teen. The trip was a bit long, though it was originally supposed to be 3 and a half hours, it was about (including the delay) five hours.

I got to the Airport to not see Nancy and Eugene, because it seems the Airport people had told them I was in a completely different terminal, and they ran quickly over to me after about 15-30 minutes of waiting somewhere completely different. And while they were in the other terminal I got my bag and half listened to a very strange conversation between two men about television shows, which was somewhat amusing and irrelevant to everything they discussed on the plane.

Finally Mom and Dad arrived and they took my suitcase and we went to the car and went back Home. Well, though it's not actually my home, since I will be living with my dear older sister Tina and her husband Chris and their 9 year old son, Quinn. I am happy about the change, and I will give it the best shot. I will be going there on the 11th, and it will be my permanent residence.
Well, I am exhausted from the trip so I should actually be dead asleep now, I think I'll try to get some sleep.

Farewell.

P.s I miss my friends in Timisoara, of course.

Last Week In Europe

2008-06-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I am going back to the states on the 3rd of July and I will be moving in with my older sister Tina, at her house.
I'm going to miss Europe, and Jolie, but life goes on, right?
I'll be sure to add some pictures soon from my last days.

I'm going to be taking a plane by myself, so I am a bit nervous, but I will go on.
Stay cool readers.

Farewell.

Happy Birthday Eugene!

2008-06-12T03:01:00.000-07:00

Oh Happy Eugene Day!!!

Eugene dressing up as Elvis in 2008

Eugene & I in 2001

Eugene in the 50's

This Post is in celebration of Richard Eugene Osborn, also known as "Father, Daddy, Pop and Papa". Eugene is my father and has helped me allot in my very strange years of life. He's always cracking witty jokes and asking me when I want to go to the store with him (to get cookies). We also watched War movies together, such as Band of Brothers and he got a bit annoyed when I would quote Band of Brothers, so I stopped, but only because he said I should, and I believed he was right. I respect him allot, his calmness and his ability to make situations better with his perspectives and opinions. Once in a while I will catch myself saying the "banana joke" he always told, or the "worked it out with a pencil" joke too, I guess they were just too funny to pass up. He also helped me as I grew up and learned various topics about life which include doing math also. I remember when we used to just get in the car and drive for hours to some destination to book a wal *mart or just because we wanted to. Those were the days. We also enjoy the same kind of music which is rare because Father's are supposed to listen to "Fatherly music" which is older or less "teenish", but I think it's so awesome we agree on music, I remember Eugene and I just rocking out to Blindside or Cream, or whatever you felt was worth listening to. So today, in honor of Eugene I decided to make this post about him. I wish him the best birthday since I can't throw silly jokes his way on his Birthday, but I hope we can spend another birthday together someday, even if I am half-way across the world, I think the Lord will have our paths meet again soon. So cheers to Eugene! Happy Birthday Daddy! I love and
miss you and allot of my music reminds me of you now, so you are remembered.

Farewell.

My Late Schedule

2008-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

For the past several days, okay to be safe I'll say a week, I have been staying up way too late and sleeping in way too late. Usually, when you sleep in it's because your body needs it somehow, because you might be fighting a cold, or dying, but the point is, I don't think I need all this sleep. I am so tired during the day because I am sleeping TOO MUCH! I don't need to sleep so much and I seriously doubt the rest of the Home is extremely excited about my sleeping habits.

I think I shall get up earlier and increase my Kaffee intake. Smart right? Well I thought so anyway.

Farewell.

CTP

2008-05-31T03:16:00.000-07:00

We did a CTP the other day, and it was interesting, as in, I'm in a new country and I am still getting used to Children who do not speak the same language as I, nor do they understand the various expressions on my face (seeing as I have been known for the various expressions that do not make much sense to anyone), so the children just smile bright with their balloons and bags the size of themselves and wonder what in the world I, as small as I am, could in anyway offer.

Aha, they are not the only one's who consider this exact statement as true, I myself have not only considered it, but have kept it running through my head for many days. 'What could I do if I do not speak the language and are unable to understand the minds of small children'? And by asking myself this, I realized that if I tried so hard to understand them, and worked so hard studying, worrying, and scraping my brain trying to make myself more presentable to them, then what good would it do?

I am still planning to learn the language, but, it is only by God that I am able to be noticed by them. Children are small, and they have faith, sometimes more than adults, because they have blind-faith, which can be some of the greatest faith you could ever have.

So I realized, I could just show Jesus to them, through myself. I have no real amazing feature that people would awe at, and no deathly beautiful talents that would be obviously noticed by the world, but I have faith, and I have Jesus, who can be shown through me. So, that's what I can do. That is all I really have.

Farewell.

Kevin

2008-05-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and throw out a couple whines and several sad dots because of the lack of Kevin.

He came here about six days after I did, and then, out of the blue, he's like "hey, I'm leaving in like 10 minutes". Now, wait a second! I didn't agree to that, I don't recall saying, 'okay, go on back to Poland or wherever you're from'. Nay!

Anyway, he was super fun, and exciting, and full of sarcasm. He left about 4 days ago, and nobody in the Home has fully recovered, well, except for me. Kaffee always does the trick, oh wait, I'm supposed to be super sensitive and emotional now, because I forwarned my blog-readers that I would be a big mess of emotion, so here goes.

WAAAAAAAAAA, BOOO HOO, SOB SOB, SNIFF SNIFF, (over-flowing tears).

Well, that was a blast, come again soon, and maybe I might just do it again.

Farewell.

Three Cheers for Monty Python and Phantom of the Opera.

He loved leaves

Go ahead and leave you punk...

He Came. He Lived. He posed.

He was a bag of smiles.

Yes, you can reheat chocolate cake.
And yes, I want bananas with my waffles.

Kevin lived a healthy life, filled with various nuts and spices, and fried green tomatoes.
He loved movies like "Short circuit, Princess on Ice, Some like it hot, and of course, Babe pig in the city".
He loved to dance, to pose, and to live life like any young strong soldier should live. I hope he knows we love him, for the man he is, and for the man he'll never...er...he'll grow up to be.

Opera!

2008-05-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

Well, we went to a OPERA the other day, and it was fun.
It was called "Madame Butterfly", and it wasn't very cheerful, but that's okay, we'll live.

I have never been to an Opera before so it was quite an experience. The singing was loud, obviously, and the main girl (who was supposed to be fifteen) looked like 100 and wasn't that great, but the main guy was a good singer, though he was like 1000 years old. The opera lasted about 3 hours, and was cool. I would like to go to another opera someday, but I would like to know the story before-hand, just in case it's not worth it.
Anyway, enjoy life, and opera, and various pieces of bread you just MIGHT get in provisioning.

Farewell.

Witnessing

2008-04-09T05:40:00.000-07:00

We go personal witnessing every Saturday, and it's a blast, especially when little boys come up and pose for pictures with Juliet, it's the best. You know, we were walking along this flower filled path, and I noticed a man on a bench (I love benches by the way), and I gave him a tract, then I walked away. Suddenly, Juliet walked over to him and started up a conversation, soon after, he got saved, received our address, and he also handed us his number, so he could come for Bible classes in the upcoming. Therefore, it was a very glorious day.

Witnessing...

Beautiful Woman...

Romance...

Holding Hands...

Boys who pose with Juliet....(extra dot)

Farewell.

Sugar

2008-03-31T02:30:00.001-07:00

Sugar is the best
Sugar helps to live
Sugar come back
Use Sugar not crack

Okay, I love sugar, I shouldn't really, but I kind of do.
We made a rule here, that we cannot have sugar so much, or use very little of it when we do, so I am having serious drawbacks, but I will overcome because Sweet SWEET JESUS actually made this rule, so I will follow willingly.

Enjoy your sugar folks, for it may be your last.

Farewell.

Home

2008-03-22T00:35:00.000-07:00

This is Jon-Jon. He is playing guitar. Jon-Jon likes guitar. Jon-Jon likes to run. ( His name is formally known as George though).

Juliet and I. We were munching on cookies. We like cookies. Nobody else likes cookies. But we like cookies.

Hold up Blog readers, I haven't completely given up on this Blog, I just got a bit lazy, you know the feeling, sitting around on your bed reading and thinking about going to write on your Blog, then rethinking and saying 'why now'. Well, that probably never happened to anyone in UNIVERSE but me, but I decided to share it anyway.

Today we are going witnessing and I am a bit nervous, because I do not remember much witnessing in Europe when I once lived here those centuries ago, though I should remember so I have a feel of what to do now. Anyway, I'm going to try to do it today.

We're Home!

2008-03-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

We finally arrived in Timisoara! Take that non-believers!
The Home is great, the ride was long, but it was worth it. The people are nice, and the house is clean and tidy. Jolie and I have our own little space in the girl’s room, and it looks like us, stuff wise anyway. I cleaned the floor, and it is clean now, so I am so proud of myself, though I should not necessarily be "proud" of myself, because it would get me no-where.

I was thinking today about how little I know about Spirit Helpers, and how important they are in people's lives. Today's devotions gave me a quick reality check and made me want to learn much more about them. I know it is very easy to just say "I have my own spirit helpers, and they're all I need", but that's not the point here. The point is, spirit helpers are needed, very much. They play a very large roll in each of our lives, and give us help whenever we ask. Nevertheless, I am not saying sweet Jesus does not have that power, because that would be ridiculous to say, because he made us, and spirit helpers, he is the creator of all, and he has the power to do whatever he wants.

The Lord was obviously speaking to me during devotions, trying to show me that I should get in closer contact, not only with my personal spirit helpers, but also with the helpers that make the Family the wonderful place it is. The point is, I need to work harder on honing my spirit Helpers, and on having a more clear connection with them.

Farewell.

Their Visit.

2008-03-02T20:47:00.000-08:00

My sweet sisters (and Mrs. Marty) visited me before my great trip to Europe.
They stayed only a night, but it was fun, fun, fun! Well, they arrived yesterday around four in the afternoon and stayed till around three today. Last night we went to the Mall (dun dun dun) and walked around for a couple minutes, then we watched 'Be Kind Rewind' in the theater, and although it seemed pretty funny in the beginning, it practically turned into one of those romantic comedies, which I have had too much of recently. And after our movie we went to Bennigan's and ate a delicious meal together, and made various water jokes as well.

Today we went to the Mall again, but only for various shopping needs, yes I said needs. The adventure took place with me, Laurie, & Marty, who patiently waited for about 1 1/2 while Lori and I ventured through the 80 % off idles of Sears clothes, which was nice and filled with many girls of all shapes and sizes. Then we walked through the mall some more, and checked out a couple stores including the poison gas stores such as : Abercrobie & Fitch and Abercrobie. Did I not mention that those stores are filled with underage workers, bright smiles, overdoses of aftershave, funky music, and clothes that are 3 times too small for most people. Maybe I forgot to mention it.

Finally we sat down to eat at a rather opened lunch table, and a man starts to preach to us about God, and how we don't know him like he did and should have a relationship with him, so I calmly explained who I was, and what group I was apart of, and about the trip to Romania I would be taking, and yet, he continued to preach to us, so we told him thanks, and went on our way.

It was a long day, in other words, but it was still pretty amusing. I miss them already, they are awesome to have around, especially for laughs, and odd/deep conversations. If the Lord wills it I will see them again, someday soon.

Farewell.

The Dentist

2008-02-25T15:50:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow I go to the Dentists (dun dun dun dun dun), where someone will willingly take their huge hands and shove them very neatly down my throat. Oh boy! This land of Dentistry is a rather small building, with odd music, strange teenagers/children running in endless circles while we wait, we all wait for hours. But, thankfully my orthodontist is very clever, and we throw around a couple jokes while he so willingly checks on my braces. You see, the problem with braces is, they are on your teeth and they make you look like a star. And no, I don't mean in a good way. They make your teeth look abnormally shiny and strange. So, I do not smile much, because I might scare my fellow friends and family away.

Tomorrow (the 26th), will be the last Orthodontist trip I will make in America! So, I am trying not to dread it, but take it as an opportunity to smile one last time at my charming Orthodontist, though this place isn't something I am proud of.

Farewell.

We're Off!

2008-02-23T15:37:00.000-08:00

Well, today is the day FOLKS!

No, I don't mean literally today, but we are moving. Timisoara here we come!
The Lord was obviously trying to teach me serious patience, because we were waiting for quite sometime, but the Lord always comes through. Hurray!
Anyway, we should be leaving very soon, and I will tell you when we do.
I love you guys, and I hope I will see you all again someday.

Farewell.

STAR WARS!

2008-02-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

Star Wars is a classic masterpiece that is well known into the world! Well, others claim to have seen it "countless times", though they do not seem to "know it" very well at all. We have recently started watching Star Wars all over again. And of course, we started with 'A New Hope' and discovered how truly marvelous it is. Well, except for the sweet actor who played Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) who played the part well, but is extremely easy to make fun of. Han Solo is the bomb though, he can bring joy into our humdrum lives from his sarcastic attitude, and odd perspective on life. And tonight we gathered around the living room once again, and enjoyed the sequel 'The Empire Strikes Back', and shared a few laughs, and some tears (on Jesse's side anyway).

And tomorrow starts a new day, an entirely new day filled with memorable quotes from Star Wars, and the excitement we will once again share from the very last one 'Return of the Jedi', and what a sad day it will bring. You will see no more smiles from our bubbling lips. No more giggles of joy, and no more memorable quotes to be clever for, because it will be over! Maybe I should hold back the greatest emotion I might someday encounter from the ending of a brilliant Trilogy. I will surely try to.

I know there are some sweet Star wars fans in the world, somewhere. Well I surely hope so. The very same Star Wars that passed around through countless generations, and many minds in the world. And there are many novels about Star Wars and merchandise too. Moreover, I just so happen to own some. Well, my brother Jesse (who at the age of 11) had collected a very valuable stash of Star Wars barbies...er....action-figures, and had held them in a magical little plastic box for years, well until recently. My Nephew Kevin desperately wanted the action-figures, so Jesse handed his wide collection to Kevin, though I am sure Jesse would have kept them for years to come. However, I am sure it was time to give up his glorious collection, since he is NOW turning 18, though he had given away the Star Wars action-figures when he was about 14. However, the point of the story is to keep things that are extremely valuable, or do not.

Anyway, I have this fly Star Wars T-shirt I plan to share with you now.
Yes, I am only talking about the T-shirt, I am not going to "share myself" with you now.

May the force be with you.

Farewell.

Sweet music..

2008-02-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

Its funny how the people you least expect can have such amazing talents. Take Andrew for instance, he is a very cool, energetic person, with conviction and a very big smile, and little did we know, he had an amazing voice. Well, he practically blew me away in “Consuming Hate”, where he sings, (and does a very good job at that), on stage at Word-stock 06’. The song ‘Consuming Hate’ is extremely powerful, both in words and in song, I believe Tim Drummer originally wrote the words, and Andrew sings (and screams) it.

Ten bullet plan, are an awesome band, though, very little people know about them, or their capabilities. But I surely do! Mark Osborn (my brother), Andrew Forsberg, Jesse Osborn (also my brother), and Tony Fogerty, have created an excellent band. They originally recorded the song “You wonder why”, (which was changed) to “the flood”. I do believe my brother Mark and Tony had written it, though neither will take credit for it.

Though I am very finicky about music, (Lord help me), I have taken a serious liking to both bands. The Lord obviously gave me new music since I had forsaken the old (non-family) music.

Farewell.

The Resturant....(evil music in the background)

2008-02-15T18:32:00.000-08:00

Gather around children and let me tell you a glorious story about our eventful dinner at Black Eyed Pea. No, do not be alarmed, though none of this is fictional, I will try not to scare you, and give you the truth. (And yes, the photos are all part of this amazing adventure)

This is my very subtle pose, you just don't know it yet...

Back off roll lovers, this roll was mostly a prop.

I’m sure other people could describe this place with jazz and great hospitality, though I beg to differ.

This land of low seats, hasty waiters, funky music and small meals, was nothing more than that. A different world, I heard myself say at least twice. And, as we sat at our table, an average height, extremely young looking, fake smiled, colour contact user had been assigned to us. I thought nothing of it at that time, but that was wrong of me. First he arrived with fresh rolls and butter, (which I happily stuffed down my starving throat), then he proceeded to tell us ‘Corn bread is coming soon’. Yet, I did not remember ordering such a heavy food, I hope it’s free. Then we continued eating those delicious rolls, three to be exact, and they tasted heavenly. Though, a problem was arising, but we did not even see it coming. This half-crazed waiter must have found it amusing, nay, exciting to come and ask us irrelevant questions, while we tried to eat.

I was both disturbed and uncomfortable in this situation, because he not only came to our table eight times, but he also threw deep (eye contact) looks our way (thankfully, he had an eye for Jolie, not me). After this annoyance he had sternly given us, we decided to give him $10 dollars for his trouble, though it was mostly him troubling us. And now, I am still haunted by the idea of seeing him again. I pray to sweet Jesus that we never go to Black Eyed Pea again. Next time, we’ll defiantly eat at Chilies.

Farewell.

Young Love/Valentines Day.

2008-02-14T11:16:00.001-08:00

Ah, young love. The very same lust...er...love that is told to last a lifetime. The sweet little boys and girls cuddling and maybe even holding hands, shh, don't tell anyone though, its much too vulgar for the common ears of men. Well, lets take a quick flashback into the 50's, and ask ourselves why we cant have the same tasteful affections as back then. Remember holding hands? Obviously not! Now listen here, youngsters! You should go back to the fifties and smile, knowing that Valentines day wasn't about the vulgar distasteful attitudes we have now. Well, if you want to talk about violent love making, then well, thats your decision. As for myself, I would rather skip the subject altogether. Well, how knows? I might change my opinion.

May your valentines day be filled with over fattening chocolates, and tear bursting movies.

Farewell.

Sad Songs

2008-02-11T12:57:00.001-08:00

Back in the late fifties and sixties people wrote these catchy tunes that very few people actually listened to deeply. And if they did, they would be surprised at some of the lyrics. Take the song "Tell Laura I love her" for instance. It's extremely catchy, but also very sad.

No one knows what happened that day
Or how his car overturned in flames
But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck
With his dying breath, they heard him say

Tell Laura I love her
Tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die

Now in the chapel where Laura prays
For her poor Tommy, who passed away
It was just for Laura he lived and died
Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry

Tell Laura I love her
Tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to cry
My love for her will never die

"Last Kiss" redone by Pearl Jam in the 90's

We were out on a date in my daddy's car. we hadn't driven very far. there in
The road, straight ahead. a car was stalled, the engine was dead.

I couldnt stop, so I swerved to the right. Ill never forget the sound that
Night. the screamin tires, the bustin glass. the painful scream that I heard
Last.

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? the lord took her away from me. shes gone
To heaven, so Ive got to be good. so I can see my baby when I leave this world.

When I woke up the rain was pourin down. there were people standin all around.
Something warm flowing through my eyes. but somehow I found my baby that night.
I lifted her head, she looked at me and said. hold me darling, just a little
While. I held her close, I kissed her our last kiss. I found the love that i
Knew I had missed.

Well now shes gone. even though I hold her tight. I lost my love, my life,
That night.

Oh where, oh where, can my baby be? the lord took her away from me. shes gone
To heaven, so I've got to be good. so I can see my baby when I leave this
World.

Kiss of Fire by Tony Martin

I touch your lips and all at once, the sparks go flying
Those devil lips that know so well when I am lying
And though I see the danger, still flames go higher
I know I must surrender to your kiss of fire
Just like a torch you set my soul within me burning
I must go on along the road, no returning
And though it burns me, it turns me into ashes
My whole world crashes, without your kiss of fire

I can't resist you, what good is there in trying
What good is there denying, you're all that I desire
Since first I kissed you, my heart was yours completely
If I'm a slave, then it's a slave, I want to be...

Don't pity me, don't pity me

Give me your lips, the lips you only let me borrow
Love me tonight, devil take tomorrow
I know that I must have your kiss although it kills me
Though it consumes me, your kiss of fire
I know that I must have your kiss although it kills me
Though it consumes me your kiss of fire.


Sleep walk by the Supremes

Instead of dreaming


I sleep walk

'Cause I lost you

And now what am I to do

What to do

Can't believe that we're through

I don't care how much you tell me


Sleep talk

'Cause I miss you

I sleep talk

While the memory of you

Lingers like a song

Darling, I was so wrong

But I'll be right someday


The night

Fills my lonely place

I see your face

Spinning through my brain

I know

I miss you so

I still love you

And it drives me insane


Sleep walk

Every night

I just sleep walk

And when you

Walk inside the door

I will sleep walk no more

Till then by the Classics

Till then, my darling, please wait for me
Till then, no matter when it may be
One day I know I'll be home again
Please wait (till) till then

Our dreams will live though we are apart
Our love will always stay in our hearts
Till then, when of the world will be free
Please wait for me

Although there are oceans we must cross and mountains that we must climb
I know every gain must have a loss, so pray that our loss is nothing but time

Till then, we'll dream of what there will be
Till then, we'll call on each memory
Till then, when I will hold you again
Please wait till then

Blue Velvet by Bobby Vinton

Alright, let's not forget the classic "I can't help falling in love with you" by Elvis

Wise men say only fools rush in
but I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you
for I can't help falling in love with you

So there you have it, folks. Now you know what some of these songs are really ABOUT!

Farewell.

In The Middle of Somewhere

2008-02-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

When you do not know many people, or wish you had not know many people, life is difficult. My story is true, so pay attention. All right, let me begin with a subtle introduction of myself. As well as, this mischievous place, I had once lived in. To begin this story we must first take seven steps back into the past, and remember. Though I have no real bitter memories of this place, I will try to remember something interesting.

This Household, which remained branded for parties, was in all, nothing more than that. Especially to the young people who abruptly dropped by every so often, even if we had not asked them to. These parties had contained a certain essence to them, and a clear view of the ignorant people (who were formally involved) had really been like. Because of the wide variety of Alcohol passed unwisely around, many of the fellow inmates had viciously and incongruously flirted and grabbed the poor and innocent souls of that home. Ah, the wonder of this place brings a smile to my face, and yet, it gives me a heavy heart as well.

The singing teams were a nightmarish atmosphere. From the moment, you jump into the automobile, life ceases to exist. Moreover, the singing had to be extremely deafening and courageous to be equal to your teammates. Moreover, those of us who would refuse those “valuable singing lessons” would be instantly tortured with uncanny jokes, and fervent affections. However, I had avoided those situations like The Black Death, and it worked well.

Sarcastic People:

Some days you would try being a bit affectionate towards them, but it would get you nowhere.

Cruel and idiotic creatures were they, with a hint of sincerity when adults would randomly appear. However, they would still try to get you into bed in the process. What good would that actually do? However, I have considered slashing them in their sleep, but I resisted. However, it would have been allot better in the end.

Man Pleasers:

Its common knowledge that no one should actually “man please” but he or she still did. As if something went off in their heads that made them believe they must PLEASE OTHERS. What a joke. However, I still think they are capable of doing whatever they please. Yet, I befall stricken by a quick flash of reality, which states that they cannot.

The Non-Caring:

Shaking our heads at the idiocy that went on in the Home, and wishing the Home members would disappear.

Well, not always. Sometimes we hoped they would be alive, so we could mock their existence. Nothing really mattered except the few important people in our lives.

When visitors came to us, we ignored them. They sometimes asked us if we liked them, and a small smirk would appear on our faces. And what is wrong with an addiction to coffee? It never killed anyone. We also had our perverted moments, but we made up for them with a smile. No matter what we said, we could easily replace it with a big beam, nay, SHINE of smile. However, that was on a RARE occasion. We do not smile too much; it is a waste of space.

Dedicated Beings:

There were not very many of these, but a few remained. They would make everything happy and cheerful, and an occasional atmosphere of fun. However, I did not understand them sometimes. They would seriously confuse me, with all these creeps around them; they would still find time to be happy. Congratulations to you! You were good people.

Creeps/Decent:

Most moments you would either be trying to molest us, or praying for us. I am sure you went through a lot, but you still cannot molest people, it is illegal. I looked it up once.

You were not as bad as you seemed. You had your decent times, where you would actually make some sense, and would resist the subject of sex. Maybe if you worked at it more, than you might be able to go a WHOLE day without talking about sex. What do you think?

Computer Geeks/Smarty

They were very valuable subjects. Not easily disrupted, not easily bothered. They had my appreciation because they had the patience for me, which is surprising. Moreover, they play a mean game of cards. I will admit that. They were cool people, because they had good humor, and they knew how to make people laugh, at surprising times. They were also smart in allot of ways, even though they had random women’s eyes on their computer desktop. Nevertheless, other than that, they were cool.

Charmers

Classy and sophisticated were they, well sometimes. They always charmed those women to pieces, and broke several hearts in the process. They carried a certain “cool” presents about them, unlike others of the Home. Although, they always knew how to have a good laugh, and make fun of people on occasion. They were also very squeezable and cuddly. You wanted to put them in your pocket, so they would constantly be there to squeeze.

Shakespeare

It annoyed us a bit, because of the wide variety of women at their side every moment. How could we actually have a decent conversation with them? They were charming, intelligent, handsome, and well, to good to be true. I feel sorry for them because they did not get a moments peace. I do not believe in those stupid little girls hanging all over the only operate who would pay attention to them. It was almost as if the Shakespeare’s were a piece of meat. Humbug I say! I think it is rather uncanny to think someone does that. The point is they were very cool people. They were classy, and highly able to keep up an interesting conversation. So cheers to them.

Yikes

They were scary! You were a bit too terrified to be near them. Moreover, the only time they were a bit relaxed was with Alcohol in their system (read beginning again). They would randomly yell at you, well, because they could. They could be nice people if they tried. If they actually put in some effort, and since they were commander of the Singing Team, you prayed to sweet JESUS that you were not on the Singing Team.

Boots...

2008-02-08T15:19:00.001-08:00

My feet hurt immensely. Those words, the exact words I spoke, and I continue to speak, are all truth. As I sat upon my bed, feeling quite disturbed over the terrible feeling that has arisen in my feet, I begin to realize that Boots are killers of feet. Woe is me, I feel vulnerable to have walked that far in those boots. Though they seemed comfortable in the beginning, I had been stricken with reality. These boots, that are very pretty (though I care very little for shoes) are nothing more than a pretty way of hurting your feet. OUCH!

Farewell.

Brown Eyes

2008-02-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

Brown eyed wonder. Among all others, he lurks around, never afraid to speak aloud.

Many think of him as silent or mysterious some say. To me, he is nothing other than

The loudest mystery I could not ever portray. No one thinks as he does, you see the diversity in his eyes. His voice is calm as an ocean, yet as sharp as the rugged tides.

His honesty makes the best sense in anytime or place. Some think him mortal, but they have not felt his immoral embrace. Never to question the possibility of happiness, his face

Somehow always smiles. Even in the tears on his face, he will last a very long while.

So wrong turned into the rightist thing possible. They wonder why he is so cheerful yet so deadly. If they only knew, his true colours, they would finally see he is beautiful. None other can compare to him. Craziest person you will meet, but still willing to be sane. You will look deeper into his eyes and see his heart, the one real thing that makes so much sense. Who will know his brightest side? Will he ever blow his cover? He plays no fool, in front of others or himself. He reaches out to find something new and different, yet he finds himself. Kindest, most lovable creature is he. You will never understand his ways, for he hides many things.

Love he carries in his heart for so long. Who could judge such a loyal one as he? His swift movement makes him free. If only they saw what I see. The bittersweet confessions he gives to me. I will never get quite enough of him. To face the world’s fire, yet he comes back clean. He comes to me at night when others do sleep. Talks about memories & the love he does bring. I will close my eyes so tight and remember one more time. This creature is lovelier then anyone I have ever known.

Farewell.

Festive Occasion...(or so I'm told)

2008-02-04T22:47:00.000-08:00

All right, all right, I admit that I went to the parade. There you caught me right in the act. Are you happy? Do you also feel lucky? Sorry I had to say that, I did not really want to, but they said I had to. Nevertheless, its story time now!

Such a glorious occasion it had turned out to be.
I will tell you the whole story, if you are still interested.

Well, there were six of us prepared for this celebration, some more than others.
Therefore, we walked from Mrs. Tina's house (which was about half a mile from the huge parade), in search for the almighty Marti Gras. Though we found much more than we imagined. The parade on the other hand was monstrous! No not really, I lied. It was a lot of fun actually. Especially all the old men who would flirt with you with their wide bead collection, and you (of course) would weakly fall right at their bate, because you did not know any better.

I had a conversation with the man beside me about his life, though I remember very little about it. I was trying to listen really hard, but the beads were so darn distracting, and I had to pay attention to the beads instead. I hope he did not get offended by my greed for beads. Anyhow, it was allot of fun, and I received about one hundred beads and several cups (with the Gemini symbol on it) those didn't matter. It was lot's of fun though, and we shared a few laughs.

Farewell.

Stepping Out With My Baby...

2008-01-31T22:34:00.000-08:00

The weather outside was bright and cheery, and it was the first time in 17 long days that sunshine was bright, and the air was crisp. Well, the air was practically blowing us away, that’s why it was a bit rough to take photos, though we succeeded still. I hope you enjoy these tender photos of me and Jolie. And no, you may not ask questions about them. Whose laughing?

Farewell.

Doing Your Best

2008-01-27T10:36:00.000-08:00

Maybe your best bet is to believe in something you’ve never believed in before. Some form of spiritual being. You should refuse to be confused by the common knowledge of men. The knowledge they barely know themselves. I’ve had images in my head for sometime now, of places I have never been, but still want to go. Don’t worrying myself into the ground. You must concentrate on certain aspects of your life. You need to give your all to the Lord, without looking back. Life is what you make of it. Life is the exact purpose in which to live. Others find suicide the best choice or opportunity to stay sane, but it’s wrong. Life is only lived when you give your all. When you are willing to forsake all. And when you’re so fed up with the thoughts of despair. And you begin to understand what you need to do in life. Maybe you are meant to give all of yourself without much received. Giving never goes unlooked; believe me. If you’re purpose is to give, then give. Give everything of yourself. Hold absolutely nothing back. And the Lord will bless you. He will take something as small as you, and turn you into something great.

Friends

2008-01-27T10:34:00.001-08:00

I’m sure you guys have heard “oh so many” things about true friends, though you obviously didn’t get the point in the first hundred times. Friendship is sacred; it’s something you wouldn’t ever want to lose. Friends are true, honest, sacrificial, caring, understanding, accepting towards each-other. Not the other way around.

True friends are the people who stand by you no matter what. Whether you completely freak out, or worry constantly about “unwary” subjects. Or you hurt your friends feelings without knowing it. Or in some people’s case, you knew it. Friends are the kind of people who forgive and forget. Not just the minor things you do or say, but even in the enormous things as well. Friend’s don’t gossip about each other, or say stupid things to be “cool”. Being someone’s friend is a bond between them. A bond that doesn’t matter how “cool” that person is or isn’t (in some of your cases), ha-ha, just kidding. If you want to be true to someone, than don’t gossip about them, or lie to them (unless you want to). Don’t be crude towards them, and for God sakes, try to be understanding. If you’re a real friend you will accept that person for whoever they are, no matter what anyone else has to say about it.

Marti Gras

2008-01-27T10:20:00.000-08:00

I missed the great Marti Gras, even though I didn't want to. We tried to get through, but random people were pushing their way through, so we missed it. I guess I will have to make up for it in Europe. And although I didn't get to catch glorious beads, I still received bundles of beads of my favorite colours: Green, Purple, and of course black. And I also received a brilliant Centaur cup, of yellow and purple. So, it worked out in the long run.

Oh boy!

2008-01-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

Abby isn't leaving my side, she is staying with me until the thirtieth. Oh boy, I'm so happy now. I was thinking of having a nervous breakdown real quick, (in case you were interested), and blasting random people with my problems. But, I have gained my sanity, and I am now trying something new, like tempting Abby with various sweets to make her stay. And obviously it worked! Take that people who wanted her to come home earlier!

I hate to sound mean, so I'll try not to sound mean, even though in my heart I want to sound mean. I'm just really happy she's stay with me. I don't know if I could live without her tall beautiful self, and hair like Rapunzel. And her essence as tempting as fine wine.

My Family..

2008-01-20T20:35:00.000-08:00

The wide-spread laughter raging from our mouths, the loud Karaoke songs being played multiple times, and of course, the smell of Alcohol and BBQ in the air. The sad thing is that we don't know when to stop, we don't have the ability to discontinue our outrageous singing, and conversations that don't involve anyone but the one's with the alcoholic beverages in they're hands (or feet). I do feel rather sorry for the people who have to be consumed in the great madness of my family.

We may be crazy, but at least we know how to have a good time, even in the worst circumstances.
And we try to get people out of themselves, even if they don't want to.

Thank you dear Osborn's, for the courage to speak, even when nobody wants to listen.

No Tickles...

2008-01-19T14:48:00.000-08:00

No Abby I refuse to be tickled.

I don't care if you sing "Strangers in the Night"; it still won't get me in the mood for tickling.

Although, I'm very tempted to tickle you right back, I won’t, for the love of humanity.

Farewell.

Mr. Starbucks

2008-01-18T18:21:00.000-08:00

Its funny how people around me do nice things for me, and I don’t usually notice. Its not that I’m consumed in fantasy; I am rather firm in reality. Though, I still don’t notice the kindest deeds one does for me. Normally I am a very alert person, down to earth, and always paying attention to the little things around me, but recently, I haven’t.

In my latest visit to Starbucks, me and my dear friend ordered two frappicinos (different flavors), and my Father had given us two gift cards with $5 on each card. I ordered bluntly, and handed the gentleman our two cards (with the amount of $10 altogether), and I waited patiently for our drinks. The amount was totaled at $7.60, and I figured he would use both cards to pay. The man who I had given my cards to seemed nice, he had a pretty smile, and dark blue eyes, which were hidden under his small wire-rim glasses. He walked over to his register and hit several buttons, and walked back over to me in haste. And to my surprise, he told me he had only used one card to pay for the $7.60 drinks I had ordered.

I was puzzled for several moments, and wondered why he would spend his own money on my drinks, the drinks he wouldn’t even be consuming, but I would. I would be enjoying each sip as if it was heaven on earth. But, why did he only use one card? Maybe he was flirting with me, in some way I didn’t understand. Or maybe he was trying to get rid of me, and he decided to pay for my drinks, so he didn’t have to see me again. The answer is still a mystery to me, though I continue to think about it daily, I grow more curious. Though, he’ll never read this blog or this entry for that matter, I wanted to thank him, for paying for our drinks, and making me a little bit happy, because of his flirtiness.

Farewell.

Across The Universe

2008-01-18T12:37:00.000-08:00

Ridiculous, ludicrous, and absolutely nonsensical!

I don't understand how someone could purposely make a movie to ruin Beatles songs.
Maybe they're trying to be "anti-war", or something, but I see it as a reason to completely ruin Beatles songs, and to give people an excuse to make they're own little versions of the songs.

You should be ashamed of yourselves writers of this movie.

You're ruining the Beatles to make some extra money.

Delicious Jolie & I

2008-01-17T17:09:00.001-08:00

Chilly days...

My Best Friend

Taking a walk...

Scary faces

Don't hurt me!

Sadness

2008-01-16T09:57:00.000-08:00

Abby is leaving me on the 23rd. I'm very sad that she is going, but I am trying to stay strong through these times of Abby forsaking me. No worries though, I'm sure I can make it through. Well, besides this terrible cold I have caught from nature, I'm well and alive, though lacking in nutrition's, I'm still balanced in cookie eating.

People keep telling me to exercise more and eat less cookies, but, how can I? I'm sure the Lord is trying to tell me the same thing, but I am in denial, which is a very bad thing. So, maybe I will take the peoples advice and exercise. At least I would be healthy and not worry about terrible colds as much.

Farewell.

The Weekend

2008-01-14T14:57:00.000-08:00

Well, this weekend I did a Wal*mart, to raise money for my future ticket. And people were selfish. But, I tried to rise above them and pray that I could make it through the very cold and selfish people. Although, I didn't do very well, we met a couple sheep, and had a half delicious cup of coffee, hurray. I'm sure the Lord was trying to teach me patience and understanding.

Jolie arrived!

2008-01-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

Well, Eugene and I went to the bus station in search for Abby. The bus station was filthy and full of crime. I don’t think I’ll be wondering in off the street to go back in there. There was this strange old man walking around asking for money, although he did not get any from me. I’m very poor and don’t have time to give money to strangers in the night. Aha! Look at me, singing Frank Sinatra, not purposely though. Well, we waited in the bus station for an hour and a half. I’m not bitter though, I’m sure the Lord was trying to teach me some form of patience.

Abnormality! That’s the girl for me. Well, she decided to take a bus ride over to see me. When Abby got to Dallas, the original bus she was suppose to take DECIDED to be full. And so she had to wait at the bus station for 3 hours, receiving dangerous winks and nudges from strangers who want her body. Though, she barely made it on the next bus at 11, the bus still took 4 hours to get to Shreveport. My dearest Abby looked drained from the hideous bus ride she had just taken. If I had my way I would sue the terrible Greyhound service. But, I don’t have the time or resources to do so. Darn you greyhound to heck! But, I’m so happy she made it here alive! My darling Abby I am so glad you have graced me with your overwhelming presents (in a good way).

My lack of internet time

2008-01-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

Well, my internet card decided to fall over and break. So, I was left without internet for about 4 days, which made me very angry and somewhat bitter. But, I am happy now, because my Father bought me a new wireless card, which is really nice. It's a NETGEAR, and it makes everything on the internet so much faster.

I'm so glad I waited.

What A Night!!

2008-01-03T23:43:00.000-08:00

What an eventful evening Mrs. Tina & I had last night. We traveled far and wide in search of Law & Order-SVU. Neither Blockbuster nor Video-one had any. So, we sadly sat in the car for 2.5 minutes in sorrow. Yet, we figured out an option! We should travel on over to our dear old friend (Whose name we don’t speak of), and borrow the wide collection of Law & Order-SVU from him. Why hadn’t we thought of this before? I just cannot comprehend. So, off we went to his house in great need of our Television show. I glided up the 12 steps in great joy! Three knocks I had placed on the door. Three knocks would open the door. And of the number of knocks three would it be. Then, I quickly grabbed the small case of Law & Order-Special Victims Unit, and headed swiftly to the car. I huffed and puffed all the way there. As you can see, I lived that dramatic experience without a scratch.

New Years..

2007-12-31T14:08:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to say anything for New Years, but I think I will.

I hope your tender little 2008 is well, tender.

Don't eat too much (even if people shove food in your face); don't drink too much (just kidding, drink as much as you want). And don't smile too much, (because you might wear it out).

Happy Day!

From

Cookie

Jesse!!!

2007-12-31T01:29:00.001-08:00

You know what Jesse?

You have a damn good birthday!

You're hip, you're 18.

You smell like fish, in my dreams.

Be mine. Be clean.

Happy Birthday my crispy machine.

Love

Blondes...

2007-12-30T23:53:00.000-08:00

In life I feared people calling me a “blonde”. Because in many situations blondes
Are known as “stupid” or “completely ditzy”. So I wished that horrifying name far
Away. Sometimes I would purposely wear sweat shirts with hoods so I could
Hide my “shame”. (Aka: Hair Colour). Other times I would smile real big so people wouldn’t notice my shameful hair-do. But somehow I have received many flirtatious winks
And kisses from a few Mexican fellows. I never did understand why they like blondes. . Because being a blonde is not a blessing. NEIN! It has come down as a curse.

However, like many stupid people “blondes” are usually given the name “senseless” for a reason. I doubt some brunette girl just started calling them that out of spite. Because
Frankly how could you ever be spiteful to a blonde? Nah I take that back, you can always be spiteful to a blonde. Because they can be very obnoxious, and ridiculous. (I of all people should know). But I am not saying blondes aren’t evil in their own little way. And I of all people am not defending them. I am just pointing out what
It is I believe in this matter. The real reason blonde’s are known as morons in this matter are because; blondes on TV give them a bad name. Take “Paris Hilton” for example, she
Has her own show and manages to completely waste the half an hour that you’re watching her show, on ridiculous things she does in her life. It’s such a waste of precious time you can’t get back.

However some blondes are very funny. They manage to make you laugh without knowing it.
By just their facial expressions alone. They can be very funny in movies. Or whenever
You least expect them to crack a joke. That has to be one of their greatest qualities. Their
Complete lack of knowledge and timing. When people are in bad moods, they have to quickly break the ice by telling a complete inappropriate joke. So I suppose that would
Make them “good”, in a way.

Mrs. Anki

2007-12-29T23:07:00.000-08:00

Today I found this picture of Anki.
I was practically blown away by how beautiful she is.
I wasn't fully aware she was a model. But, I'm sure glad she is.

Well, cheers to you Anki.
I love you!

My Intake Of Air

2007-12-29T19:57:00.000-08:00

Soothing, restless, uncommon words
Reaching, breath no longer heard
Oxygen, flowing seeing the blurred
Creeping, genuine reasons I should

Intaking, heartbreaking chilled now
Shaking, going blank havent found
Wonder, inside me, going not proud
Seeking, thoughtless, memories out

Vulnerable, uncapible, to just refuse
Intolerable, presently, able to confuse
Crawling, falling, into the deep blue
Seeing, believing in something I’d lose

Cautious, doubtful that someone will
Freedom, choosing how I should feel
Lonesome, bordom haunted by guilt
Continuing, shameful trying to deal

Running, pretending that its nothing
Stunned, deseived in that something
Stricken, insightful just what I need
Brilliant, pressured seeking a dream

Burried, scornful lasted long in time
Carried, awful kept closely to a lie
Breathing, sweating, the shed of ties
Keeping, unsatisfied, with this bind

Hurray for Law & Order - Special Victims Unit

2007-12-29T11:52:00.001-08:00

Hurray for Law and Order-Special Victims Unit!!

I watched 2 full seasons in the past week.

Maybe it's not something to be SUPER proud about.

But I am.

Good ol' Mr. Pants and I

2007-12-28T22:51:00.001-08:00

Haha. This picture needs no description.

Christmas is over!

2007-12-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

I don't want to be too rude and say I'm happy, but I am happy. Christmas was loud, much too loud for my liking. I love my family though, and that obnoxious game we call 'Catch Phrase'.
But, Lord knows I'm trying to be more accepting of loud people, (considering I am one). Well, we'll just see how it all works out.

Farewell